Layers Like an Onion

/ Sarah

Discovering God’s Purpose in My Past

You know that scene in Shrek when Shrek tells Donkey, “Ogres are like onions… they have layers”?
Yeah — turns out, so do I.

Recently, through my work and personal faith journey, I’ve been challenged to peel back my own layers — the ones I’ve been protecting, the ones I thought I had already dealt with, and even the ones I didn’t know were shaping how I show up in the world.

And what I’ve found? It’s raw. It’s real. But it’s also redemptive.

When Your Job Becomes a Mirror

Sometimes God uses the most unexpected places to do heart work. For me, it’s happened in the middle of strategic planning sessions, spiritual gift assessments, and assignment prompts that asked me questions like:

“What lies offend you?”
“What are the burdens that drive your calling?”

What began as “work” turned into a mirror.
And the reflection? I didn’t fully recognize her.

Because underneath my skills and structure, I found years of performance mentality, people-pleasing, shame I thought I had shaken, and a quiet but constant pressure to be “enough.”
That’s when God whispered, “It’s time to look at that.”

“For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
— Jeremiah 29:11 (CSB)

I always thought that verse was about my future — and it is.
But lately, I’ve realized it also reframes my past. God didn’t just have plans for me. He had plans in it — even in the messy parts.

A Moment That Hit Me Hard

I’ll never forget one particular night:
I was sitting at the dining room table, helping my kids prep for the week, checking off tasks, answering emails — and still feeling like I was failing in every role.

That old voice came creeping back:

“You’re dropping the ball.”
“You’re too much and still not enough.”

And I paused.
I literally put my pen down and asked, “God, is that You?”
Immediately, I felt the answer: No. That’s the lie.
And I knew — I’ve heard that voice before. I just didn’t always recognize it.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
— John 8:32 (NIV)

That was a turning point for me.
It wasn’t about doing more — it was about seeing clearly what was shaping my thoughts and letting God redefine it all.

My Past Doesn’t Define Me — But It Has Shaped Me

Every difficult season, every moment of shame or confusion — it hasn’t been wasted.
I can look back now and say, God was still there, making me sweeter.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
— Romans 8:28 (NIV)

I used to view my story through a lens of regret.
Now, I see layers of grace.

My Calling, Made Clear

As I’ve processed this and named it out loud, here’s the mission that’s been uncovered in me:

“I desire people to stop living in the fog of confusion, shame, or performance — and start living with clear, God-given direction and identity through intentional living.”

This thread runs through everything I do — in ministry, motherhood, writing, and work.

I’m here for more than good ideas and structured systems.
I’m here to:

  • Guide others toward God-centered clarity daily
  • Equip them to follow Him faithfully
  • Help them live with direction, not distraction

“Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established.”
— Proverbs 4:25–26 (CSB)

If You Feel Like You’re an Onion Too …

If you’ve been peeling back your own layers lately — or maybe avoiding them — please know this:
God isn’t overwhelmed by your mess.
He already knows the layers. And He’s not rushing you.
But He is inviting you into truth.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
— Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

So give yourself permission to pause.
To look at what’s underneath the “I’m fine.”
And to let God rewrite the story shame has been narrating.

Resources for When You’re Ready

If you’re in a season of uncovering your layers, too, here are some tools that have helped me:

Final Thought

You are not defined by the layers you’ve carried — but God can use them to shape you into someone who walks in boldness, grace, and clarity.

Let Him peel back the fog and reveal the masterpiece underneath.

You’re not alone.
And He is not finished.

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