A few weeks ago, I listened to an episode of The Ryan Leak Podcast called “Feedback Is Data, Not a Verdict,” and I didn’t realize how much I’d need that sentence.

Recently, I sat down for a one-on-one meeting with my supervisor. Part of that conversation included feedback about how I’ve been doing. Some of it was encouraging, and some of it gave me things to think about and areas where I can keep growing. It was the kind of setting where you expect feedback.

Then today, I received some more. I wasn’t sitting in a one-on-one, I didn’t ask for it, and it certainly wasn’t delivered in the same way. But once they spoke, the ball was in my court.

I could dismiss them because I didn’t like how they were delivered. I could become defensive and start compiling all the reasons they weren’t fair. Or, maybe even more dangerously for me, I could internalize them. I could replay the words, examine every interaction I’ve had, and eventually turn one person’s criticism into a verdict about who I am.

That’s when Ryan Leak’s words came back to me:

Feedback is data, not a verdict.

Data Is Meant to Be Examined

I love that distinction because data is meant to be examined. You look for patterns. You consider the source and the context. You ask whether other information supports what you’re seeing or whether what you’re looking at might be an outlier.

Feedback can work the same way.

Not all feedback is accurate. Another person’s perception can be incomplete, and emotion, frustration, misunderstanding, or even personality differences can affect how we experience one another. But sometimes truth is buried in feedback we really don’t want to hear. If I dismiss every criticism because I don’t like the source, timing, or delivery, I might miss something God wants to use to grow me.

Proverbs doesn’t leave much room for pretending correction is always comfortable:

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but one who hates correction is stupid.”
Proverbs 12:1 CSB

Ouch.

I don’t want to be someone who only accepts feedback when it is packaged nicely enough for me. At the same time, wisdom doesn’t require me to accept every criticism as completely true.

So now the ball is in my court. What am I going to do with the data?

Feedback Isn’t Identity

This is where it gets harder for me because there is the feedback itself, and then there is everything my brain wants to do with it.

One comment can quickly become: Is that true? Do I do that all the time? Do other people think that about me? Have I completely misread myself? Before long, I’m no longer evaluating something I may have done. I’m evaluating who I am.

That’s the difference between feedback and a verdict.

Feedback says, Here is something you may need to look at.

A verdict says, This is who you are.

Those aren’t the same thing. And I’m learning that I don’t have to choose between defensiveness and shame. There is another option.

Take the Data to Jesus

Today, I keep coming back to the words of Jesus in John 14:

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.”
John 14:27 CSB

Jesus doesn’t promise me a life where everyone speaks kindly to me, where I’ll never be misunderstood, or where I’ll never need correction. He gives me something better: His peace.

I think His peace gives me the ability to sit with uncomfortable things without immediately needing to defend myself against them or define myself by them. Instead, I can bring what was said to Jesus and ask Him to help me see it clearly.

Is there truth here? Is there something You want me to see? Have You been trying to show me this in other ways? Is there something I need to own, apologize for, or change?

But I can also ask, Is some of this skewed? Am I taking responsibility for something that isn’t mine? Am I allowing another person’s perception to become an identity You never gave me? Is there something here I simply need to release?

Those questions require something other than defensiveness. They require discernment, and discernment is much easier when I’m listening from a place of peace instead of fear.

Humility Without Shame

Maybe this is the part God is working on most deeply in me. I want to be teachable. I don’t want to become the kind of person who hears criticism and immediately explains it away. If I’m hearing the same thing repeatedly, I especially need to pay attention. If someone who knows me well identifies a blind spot, I want to have enough humility to look at it.

But humility isn’t believing every negative thing someone says about me.

Humility is being willing to see myself truthfully. Not better than I am, and not worse than I am. Truthfully.

That means I can admit when I’ve gotten something wrong. I can apologize when I need to apologize. I can change a behavior that isn’t serving the person God is calling me to become. And I can do all of that without turning correction into condemnation.

My mistakes aren’t my identity. Neither are my weaknesses, and neither is someone else’s opinion of me.

The Ball Is in My Court

That’s where I’ve landed today. I’ve been given data. Some of it was invited and some of it wasn’t. Some may be completely accurate, some may be partially accurate, and some may be skewed. I don’t think my job is to immediately decide which category every word belongs in.

My job is to take it to Jesus.

I can pray about it, look for patterns, ask people I trust to tell me the truth, own what is mine, change where I need to change, and release what isn’t mine to carry.

Because feedback is data, not a verdict.

Maybe that’s why John 14:27 means so much to me today. I don’t have to fear what I’ll find when I honestly examine myself because Jesus already knows every part of me. He knows the places where I’m growing and the places where I still have a long way to go, and He hasn’t left.

I can receive correction without being crushed by it. I can grow without living in shame. I can release what isn’t true without needing to prove that it isn’t true.

The feedback may be data, but Jesus gets the final word.

What Feedback Are You Carrying?

Maybe someone has said something to you recently that you’ve been replaying. Maybe it came from someone you trust, or someone you didn’t expect to hear it from. Maybe you already know there’s truth in it, or maybe you’re still trying to figure that out.

Before you dismiss it or let it define you, take it to Jesus.

Ask Him: What is true here? What do You want me to learn? What do I need to change? And what do I need to release?

Then give yourself permission to sit with those questions for a while. Talk to someone you trust who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear. Look for patterns. Be willing to apologize or change if God reveals something that needs your attention.

But don’t carry a verdict Jesus never gave you.

This week, when someone’s words start getting louder than they should, come back to John 14:27. Read it slowly. Pray through it. Ask Jesus to quiet the defensiveness, the fear, and the shame long enough for you to hear Him clearly.

Receive what is true. Grow where He’s asking you to grow. Release what isn’t yours.

And then keep walking in His peace.